Friday, July 14, 2006

How To Guarantee You'll Lose A WSOP Event




I know I promised I'd write about The Hand from the World Series of Poker $2000 NL event, but I got sidetracked while in Vegas by Vodka and sleep deprivation. Now that I've had a few weeks to ponder the experience I've come to some conclusions about my poker play:

1) I'd definitely do that again. It was a lot of fun, and I didn't feel like I was outclassed by any of the players. I might have a little more respect for money than the pros (which is one of the things that make them great) but after engaging them in table-talk it pretty clear they are just human too.
2) $2000 in chips is less than you'd think. When I looked at the blind schedule, I thought I'd have plenty of time to work. It's better than only starting with $1000, but it seemed like the time to start making moves came quicker than I anticipated.
3) I need to use more phrases from the SciFi channel in my life. Today will be vulgarities from the great show Battlestar Galactica.
4) THE HAND.
Immediately after I played this hand, I was upset. I had a decent player to my left that tried to make me feel better about it, saying he would have played it the same way. In the heat of the tournament, that was enough to placate me.

I now know he was full of crap. I could not have butchered this hand any worse. For those of you that don't play poker, indulge me for a bit. You'll learn a little about how tournament poker should(and should not) be played by analyzing this hand.

So, lets jump right in, shall we....

Background: I am on the button (meaning I am last to bet on the flop and after. I have position on everyone else in this hand) with about T$4900. Mr. Phan to my right is the chip leader with T$8000 or so. In seat #1 is a frumpy-looking woman with a bad sunburn that covers her face and shoulders, and does a "V" down to where I assume her cleavage should be. I think it's this lady:


She has only been at our table for 8 hands, and hasn't played one yet. The blinds are $50/100. The woman bets $300, a standard bet size.

Everyone between her and I folds. I look down and see KK.


My thought process: Ize the Man! Ok, how am I gonna take the maximum amount off of Ms. Sunburn. Well, I need to raise a good amount to get some money in the pot.

I raise to $1200. Note: This is the only step in the process I did frack up.

Sunburn woman calls.

Now, at this point, I'm wondering what she has. I'm guessing she has TT-AA, or maybe AK-AJ? It's hard to tell since she hasn't played a hand yet, but she hasn't showed any suicidal tendencies to this point so I'm operating under the assumption she's playing solid hands. She also has a slightly above-average stack size so she's not in panic mode.

The flop comes A68, rainbow (the suits don't match). Sunburn woman checks.

My thought process: Ah crap, she hit her damn A. I'll check as well.

WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG!

Mistake #1: I need to bet here. If she has an A, I'll find out soon enough if I bet. Otherwise, I have no idea what she has. If she has a small Ace (like A-3 lets say, which would be stupid to call with out of position against a reraise, but people in general are stupid) she's likely to fold. If she has a smaller pair, she'll be faced with a tough choice. She would have to respect the possibility I raised with a big A like AK or AQ. Checking is the pussy play, unless I'm setting her up for a big move on the turn.

The turn is another A. Sunburn bets $1000 into a pot of $2700.
My thought process: Ok, I'm pretty sure she doesn't have the A now.The odds went down since there are only 2 remaining A's unseen, so she's likely got a biggish pair like QQ or JJ. I'm a little confused by the bet size since it's so small compared to the pot. It's like she wants me to call, or she is just hoping the small bet will make me go away if I have nothing. Hmm...{I then take 2 minutes of time to ponder my decision}...well, I'll just call.

WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG!

Mistake #2: If you don't know what to do, Raise or Fold. NEVER FRACKING CALL!
Arrgg, my blood pressure still boils over this one. In retrospect, I should have pushed all in. I might have lost, and went out of the tourney right here but that's the risk I need to take. Let's go through the hand ranges again:

I'm ahead of:
QQ
JJ
TT
KQ
and all the 87suited that some donkeys would play into a reraise.

I'm behind:
A-anything
66
88

Now, my read on her hasn't changed at this point. If I am trusting my instincts, the only hands she is holding that beat me are Ak,Aq,Aj. And with 2 A's on the flop, the odds she has an A versus one of the other hands is small. If she hit trips, I'm going to lose some money. There's a lot of money on the table now, so winning the pot is good compensation. Plus, she's not yet pot-committed. She's still got $3000 or so behind her so she's got enough left where a all-in reraise will put her to the test.

In no-limit poker, your goal is to find pressure points where you force the other person to make the tough decision for all of their chips. This was a classic spot where I could have done that. I instead decided to poke the pooch and call.

Now, folding wasn't the worst option either. I think the all-in was better, but folding here gets me away with $1200 loss, and still leaves me with a decent chip stack. I'd have to think she had the A to do this though, and I didn't think she did.

The river comes some card that doesn't look important. Sunburn utters the words "all in".

My thinking: I'm

You stupid little man. What the hell did you think she was going to do after you hem/haw for 3 minutes on the turn and then just CALL. Look at Chris Ferguson, he's repulsed to even be sitting at the same table as you. You can't call this all in, so fold like the eunuch you are.

What I should have done: There was now $4700 in the pot, not counting her all in for about $3000 more. She's definitely representing the A, but with the weakness I showed she probably should move in with the Hammer (72o). Having botched it this badly to this point, I'm left dangling out there not knowing where the hell I stand in this hand. You want to be the one with the aggression, putting the other person all in. I'm not the kind of guy that likes to go broke with only a pair CALLING an all-in. I'd feel much better moving all-in with a pair.

So, having called the turn bet, I should have been prepared to go all in on the river no matter what card came. But that means I should have moved all-in on the river. If I was going to fold the river, I should have folded on the flop. I once again played this as weak as possible, by only calling and then folding on the river.

This hand didn't cripple me, but it came right before the blinds moved up. It forced me to play much faster by loosening up my starting hands. I still have no idea what she had, though the more I reflect on it I would put her on QQ or JJ. From her perspective, she shows weakness when the A comes on the flop, yet I only check. That means I'm afraid of the A. When she bets on the second A, I take forever to call. I obviously don't like my hand but am too dense to get rid of it. So the river is an automatic all-in because I'm unlikely to call.

I off course flip over my cards, throw them down in disgust, and act like a twit. I've only lost my cool like that one other time while playing poker, where about 2 years ago some assgobbler bluffed me out of a 3 way pot for $250 (and of course,lost to the other guy, so didn't profit from it.)

So to you, Ms. Sunburn, I say well-played. To Chris Ferguson and John Phan, I would like to blame that hand on a temporary minor brain stroke. I promise to never make that mistake again.

Please use the comments to give me the lashing I deserve. As Nietzsche said, "What causes self-loathing only makes me stronger."

PS: If you haven't played online poker yet, and want to try it out at Party Poker, email me. I've got a deal where I'll give you the $50 to fund your account so you can try it out. If you'd rather just have a bigger deposit bonus at poker try this out.

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