Saturday, September 30, 2006

Goodbye, GOP

It pains me to write this, but I no longer consider myself a Republican. A little background:

I interned for a good man, Republican Congressman Scott Klug, in Washington DC. I worked for another good man state representative for many years. I was on the Dane County Republican Party Board of Directors during this time. I helped a good man in his quest to win the GOP nomination for Senate. I'm not some newbie to the GOP scene.

I no longer plan on voting Republican. Last night, Frist The Cat-Killer got his wish: he attached the internet gambling bill to the oh-so-related Port Security bill, and got it past. Good going, moron. You've got me interested in politics again. This time, I'm going to be a royal pain-in-the-ass when you and your minyons hit me up for cash the next election cycle. I became a Republican when I got sick of the Dems shoving their belief system using force down my throat in college. Now you decide that you know better than I how I should spend my evenings. As long as I want to bet on the horses, or pick numbers at random, gambling is cool. But if I want to play a game of skill for a few dollars, I'm burning in hell in the eyes of the government. You're not winning votes with this: the people that thing poker is evil were voting for you anyway. You've just alienated the 6 million people that play recreationally, and at least 40% of them lean GOP. Or did.

When either party decides they have more important things at hand than telling me that what I enjoy is harmful, let me know.

Friday, September 29, 2006

If you only had listened

I've been very busy the past few months, mainly making sure my midlife crisis is as full and expansive as possible. Changes may be afoot, but time will only tell what is in store.

So, enough 9th grade level creative writing. Time to shift down to the k-6 level. I'm posting today to say "I TOLD YOU SO". You laughed at me when I said we need to protect ourselves, and some of you called me barbaric when I said we ought to wipe out every last one of their stinking kind before they got enough power to begin their reign of terror. Hell, even after they attacked those known for their peaceful nature, you told me they were just trying to eradicate Lyme Disease at the source. I was skeptical, but I went quiet.

Well no more. After reading this story about the bastards attacking children, I can sit still no more. It's time to do something about this menace. Here's my PSA of the day:




Kids, if you see one of these, shoot first and ask questions later. If you aren't packing heat (you fool), remember to cover the groin and the jugular as they force you to the ground. And try to go out with some dignity, son.