Ok, I'll play

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 3961561

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I haven't played on Party in probably 2 years. Now I remember why. I know there are fish a-plenty there, but they seem to be catching a ton of fun against me. It's like playing at BoDog. I know plenty of people that make good money there, but I seem to be the chum put in to feed the fricking carp feed on. I get to limp in to a 4 way pot at a 6 handed table with QJc, and pick up a straight and flush draw when flop comes 2 clubs,with 9K. No one bets, and turn comes a 9. I lead out pot size bet, get 2 callers. River is a beautiful 98 of clubs for my flush...
..except the other pud had 98, so he made his full house. Ayyeehh..

I know that stuff happens, but I just got a nice compressed shot of it tonight. $200 gone pretty quickly. It never helps that I got a good headache as well.

Ok, enough whining. Tomorrow I post some of the weirdest stuff of the week. Until then..

Let's light this candle

I open up my email today and had this message. I guess there's no going back.

Mr. Cheddah:

Congratulations!! The World Series of Poker is the most prestigious Poker event in the world. This is a receipt for your payment of the Tournament Entry Fee of $2000, which reserves you a seat in WSOP Event #6 on Saturday, July 1, 2006 at 12 noon.

Upon arrival at the RIO, to finalize your Registration and to receive your table and seat assignment, please visit our Registration Center, located in the WSOP Tournament Area. You must complete your Tournament Registration at least one hour prior to your event. Please be prepared to provide proof of identity via a Drivers License, Passport or Military I.D.

This yearÂ’s WSOP will no doubt be the largest and most exciting gaming event in history. Harrahs continues to lead the industry in creating an innovative gaming experience for valued guests. Harrahs and the Tournament Staff sincerely wish you, GOOD LUCK!!

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I played a little Sunday night in order to try to get back into the groove. I haven't had much luck in Tournaments lately, but I think I'm making the right moves. I played in a 1000 person, $24+2 one on Full Tilt as a warmup. Boy, that was fun to watch. Evidently there was something excellent on TV that I didn't know about because the betting usually went like this:

Player one: Raise 3.5x blinds
Player two: fold
Player three: All In
Rest of table: Fold
Player one: call

Player One: KQo

Player Three shows 66.

I just sat back and watched the fireworks. I caught a few nice hands as well, and got paid off on most of them. We lost 60% of the crowd in the first 56 hands. I know the 10 min blind structure forces you to play fast, but that's hopped-up-on-Adderall fast.

Anyway, 2 hrs in, I call an all-in from UTG on a 6d7dTc flop with Ad9d. Guy had KdQd. He'd been playing fast and thought he might have an even worse flush draw than he ended up with. The Q came on the river, and I was now short stacked. I doubled up once but still had an M below 4, so when I saw KQ on button it was a no-brainer push all-in. It didn't take Mr. AK in the big blind long to call, and I'm out in 200th-something.

I really concentrated on making good reads, and did well in that regard. Still played junk too much after a big win, but that'll get out of my system soon. I think that's a side-effect of playing so much 6-person $2-4nl lately. The games are as you'd expect, and with people over-playing top-pair any-kicker it's been profitable to try to limp in and then call small raises with the 67's of the world. originallylly started playing the 6-handed games to work on upping my aggression; that has happened to some degree. But since the ultra aggro's tend to play there, I've spent more time playing the willing calling station than I would have thought before hitting those tables.

Finally, for those that didn't see it, I've been drinking this shake and it really works. It's allowed me to moonlight as a tow truck. Not a tow truck driver, but the actual truck. After watching the video of the 76 yr old He-Man, I was deeply disturbed. He's crossed the line from "guy-that-profits-from-others'-pain-but-gives-them-hope-healing-whatever" to "snake oil salesman that belongs in prison". If I pulled this shit, I'd be in jail tomorrow. We can hope the same happens to Pat the Presser as well.

This should come as no surprise to anyone that knows me

My rating on the funny test...

the Provacateur

(61% dark, 38% spontaneous, 57% vulgar)
your humor style:
VULGAR COMPLEX DARK


You'll crack on anything, and you're often witty, even caustic, about it.

Therefore, your sense of humor is polarizing. You're transgressive, and you've got a seriously sharp 'edge'--maybe too much for some folks. If they get you, people think you're one of the funniest (and smartest) people in the world. If they don't, they think you're an ass. Whatever, right? While some might question your judgement, your comic intellect is unquestionably respected.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Chris Rock - Lenny Bruce - George Carlin




The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -


My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on darkness

You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

Half marathon Live Blog #3

Well I finished and did it under 2:10. I only threw up in my mouth once. Of course one of the women with us ran a 1:25. On a pound-per-pound basis, I'm probably the fastest man in this race that finished. I think I saw a 400lb man walking it, but he had to have stroked out at some point. Time to drink.

Pre-race live blog.

Ok i'm dressed. I couldn't find anywhere to get an EggMcMuffin. Bastards. Time to go out and sit in the bins with 35000 other people. I'm in coral P - for Phat.

Why the hell am I running this half marathon again?

The alarm has been snoozed for 30 min now. I just want to go back to bed.

Happy BDay Anthony

For everyone that showered gifts upon Big Tony, he is quite pleased.

(This was supposed to be his "sad" face to make his uncle feel bad. I was trying to send it to his Uncle John who was in Vegas this weekend instead of sitting through the joy of a pre-k birthday party. This was right after he texts me that he's sitting next to Pete Rose in the Caesar's sports book. Pete wasn't betting according to my sources. I also hear he was talking smack about my drinking ability. Oooh...he knows not what beast he has awoken. Anyway, Tony's not so good at sad on demand.)

Quite a few friends were enjoying the weekend fun in Vegas and has other celeb viewings. One friend played craps with Charles Oakley at the Bellagio. The night before, Charles and Phil Ivey were playing at the same table, seemingly unaware of who the other guy was. Oakley was very nice, though he mumbled a lot. He also hasn't become a fat-ass. I guess I've taken that cross for him.

Vince Vaughn was at Paris, and early the next morning Jen was seen desperately looking though her purse for my cell number. That woman just won't take no for an answer. We all know Cheddah is an aphrodisiac, but people - give The Cheese his space.

I haven't played poker in a few days, been busy with work and the new dog. He gets up at 6am for his morning walk/run, and frankly that sucks. On the plus side, I'm at least getting some running in before the half-marathon I'm signed up for in May. One of the harder things I've had to adjust to is going from a fast distance runner in my younger days to one where people look at you like you're suffering a heart attack after jogging for 5 minutes. In my head, I can still fly but in reality I'm now slow.

Anyway, here's the dog. He's tired after 3 miles which is good. I plan on having a poker post up here one of these days soon.

NCAA Hoops Picks

For those of you that care...Dr. J has given me his early round picks. His idea to pick the under for the half and full game in all of the Thursday Big Ten tourney games worked out well. So he's on a little roll for what that's worth. More will be available tomorrow for the later games.

Highest Tier (not in any order, all for/against the spread):

Wichita State, S. Alabama, Boston College and San Diego State.

For Those That Like Action Even With No Edge:

Texas A&M, Gonzaga, Illinois, Belmont.

Speaking of basketball, you'll never bet on Villanova making it to the Final Four if you see this video. You also might not keep down your lunch. I think it's a motivator myself, and if he has that kind of cartoon eye powers who knows what else he can do.

WSOP 2006 - Fear the Cheddah Nation

Well, I'm filling out the forms today. I'm entering the 2006 WSOP $2000 NL event (that's event #6 for those of you scoring at home). I invite all of you that are looking for something to do the weekend before July 4th to head on out and join the Cheddah Nation in rooting me on/laughing at my incompetence. I've actually sold 50% of myself for this event, and have 10% collected. I decided selling my action was a good idea for a variety of reasons:

1. I'm not that good. I thought about trying to sell 200% of my action, and pulling a Texas Hold-em version of The Producers. Unfortunately, I don't have that many gullible friends.
2. I've played in events costing me up to $600 before, and feel comfortable I can play a $1000 event without being scared money. $2000, I'm not sure about. This way it keeps me in my comfort envelope.
3. I think it'll give enough people incentive to come out, drink heavily, and heckle that I should be able to have a good time if the six-sigma event were to happen and I don't make the final table of action. 4 nights in Vegas is every American's God-given right, and I feel like I'm doing my part giving anyone an out to booze it up.

I'm playing pretty well, having taken up SNG's again. I won a $55 one last night on Star, but am more happy about the way I played than the results. Selectively aggressive, picking the right times to pimp-slap those that seemed weak and getting away from hands where I thought I was beat.

Anyway, if you want to join us out there, let me know. It should be a good time.

He did make The Man Show suck

When Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel left the Man Show, it really hit the skids. It went from a cutting-edge take on the agnst of the modern man (with Girls on Trampolines and an old dude that slammed beer) to a piece of public access cable crap (with Girls on Trampolines). I think the change killed The Fox.

And I've always secretly blamed Joe Rogan for it. Look, the guy actually had some sort of career. He was in News Radio and Just Shoot Me. Yes, those aren't Oscar winners but they gotta pay the bills. Doug Stanhope on the other hand, has "Porn Director" in Memphis Bound and "Homeless Jack" in Rude Awakening as his prior credits. This means two things:
1) Doug doesn't likely have a ton a talent and 2) He probably hasn't had money for food in a long time. So he'd take any job that comes down the pike.

Now Joe, he has some talent. He had to know that Doug isn't very funny and he was going to kill an American tradition. But he went ahead with it anyway, and the show sucked. For that, I have a hard time forgiving....

..and after reading this email exchange, I like him even less. Thanks to The Superficial for this exchange between a fine upstanding American and Joe.

----------------------- Original Message ----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 1, 2006 4:17 PM
Joe Rogan, I hate you... you're not funny...
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 1, 2006 8:07 PM
I love the fact that you need attention so bad that you had to email me that. That makes me feel happy :) Enjoy your depression. -----
------------ Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 7:59 AM
You really are an idiot... that 15 seconds now these 15 seconds now equal one-half of a minute that I spent letting you know that you are not funny... I sent you the message b/c you shamelessly plugged some gay event, 20 times, that I'm not going to look at... How many medications are YOU on and then you tell me who is the depressed attention-whore... Enjoy balding,
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:30 AM
First off, my employees send those out, and if you don't want them, get off my list. Second off, you responding to any of those event requests, and doing it the way you did it, just shows me what a cunt of a man you are. You don't like me? That's great, because you're obviously a douche bag, and the opinions of douche bags mean nothing. I love it when losers like you don't like me. I like it even more when they express it. It makes me feel really good about my life when an insecure fat fuck like yourself takes the time out to email me, because that just shows me the way your shitty little mind works, and insures me that you're always going to be what you are now... a failure. There's always gotta be people like you around, because they make people like me stand out :)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:45 AM
hahah, did i strike a nerve or something... you seem a bit testy by the way, my apologies... I should have shown Joe Rogan MUUUUCH more respect. Actor? Comedian? Shakespearian extrodinaire... People like you are the reason that everybody thinks they can make it in Hollywood and because people like you, anybody can make it into Hollywood... Look at William Hung. You did kill the Man Show Insecure? I guess we have something in common because you keep coming back at me... Your career is about over anyway, do you plan to work at the family hardware store after that? i'll be back after your next message to me... I have a bag of snacky-cakes to eat. I'm behind on my daily quoto. I'm never going to be as fat as your ego if i have to stop eating and type. ,.. Kevin
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:49 AM
I only wish this conversation was in real life, so I could see the nervousness in your fat little face. I enjoy these little email conversations that I have with haters :) You emailed me and insulted me because you have a mediocre mind, and that's the extent of your capabilities. You trying to insinuate that I'm a loser is even more hysterical, because I've accomplished more in my life than you ever will if you could live a thousand of your shitty lives.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:53 AM
hahahh, Oh really? What is it that you have accomplished, Joe Rogan?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:55 AM
Google search me, you fucking failure :)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 8:58 AM
you're avoiding the question... what have you accomplished
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan Date:
Mar 2, 2006 8:59 AM
That's my answer, find out yourself.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:01 AM
hahah, Joe Rogan... This is the funniest form I have ever seen you in. You're only accomplishment, in my memory, is taking a highly successful show (The Man Show) and running it into the ground merely by your presence alone. I also don't think playing second-fiddle to Brooke Shields is much of an accomplishment.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:09 AM
I was never on a show with Brooke Shields. I was however on 2 shows that made it to syndication, fear factor and newsradio, which means I never have to worry about money for the rest of my life. Think about that when you're getting told what to do by your boss and struggling to pay your bills. I agree that the man show sucked, but unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it at the time. I did however, make a fuck load of money from it, and had the time of my life. You're an ugly, fat faced zero, and I'm a famous multi millionaire. Those are the facts there, dear sweet kevin :)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:27 AM
If we are arguing who has more money... YOU WIN!!! I'm sure your "Well i have more money than you" comeback comes in very resourceful on a daily basis when people constantly tell you how not-funny you are. But i'm 20 years old... where were you at age 20 junior college? About the fat thing... I didn't realize I was fat, maybe becaue i'm so insecure, I'll go purge a few pounds and tell some tabloid that Joe Rogan made me do it. . . Skinny Hollywood, actually... What is more pathetic tho... Hollywood actor making poor attempts to insult 20 year old college student and brag about who has more money because the college student didn't think he was funny. And dont' call me 'Dear sweet Kevin." I don't what type of 'man show' you are wanting to make, but i want no part in it.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan Date:
Mar 2, 2006 9:35 AM
"What is more pathetic tho... Hollywood actor making poor attempts to insult 20 year old college student and brag about who has more money because the college student didn't think he was funny." Did you forget how this all got started, fatty? You insulted me, and I let you know that your opinion means shit. This wasn't some unprovoked attack by a bully, it was me defending myself to a hateful little loser.To answer your question, when I was 20, I was US open tae kwon do champion, and I was teaching it at Boston University, going to U Mass and thinking about doing stand up. I WASN'T insulting celebrities and then using my age as an excuse for why I've never accomplished anything. What the fuck have you ever done, Kevin? Come on, fat boy. Please do tell.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:52 AM
obviously you didn't graduate college or else you would be able to understand what I am saying. So let me break it down for you carefully... I am a 20 year old college student... that's why I have no money. That's not my excuse YOU ARE PETHETIC BECAUSE... You continue to go back and forth with as you put it "a zero." Shoudn't you be coming up with "funny" facial expressions for candid photos? It's also not like I'm going out of my way to let you know about my "shitless" oppinions. I've never been in a movie, a sitcom, or even a shitty reality show, so to you I have accomplished nothing. But given less than a year, I know I could easily come up with a better stand-up routine than you.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 9:59 AM
Exactly what I thought, you have done NOTHING. I told you what I had accomplished by the time I was your age, and you have nothing but excuses and empty boasts. You could come up with a better stand up routine than me? That's hilarious. That's better than anything you could ever possibly say trying intentionally to be funny. "I'll show you! I could so do it if I wanted to!" Blah, fucking blah. You're falling apart here, Kevin, and it's taking you longer and longer to craft these responses. I've seen it happen a million times. There's nothing unique about you. You're a loser, pal. Always have been, always will be. If you're lucky you'll find some sad chick that's willing to let you shoot a live round inside of her, and then you'll have a little Kevin that you struggle to feed and raise. That's about the best you're ever going to do. And even then, you'll have to live with the fact that a guy like me could ALWAYS steal her away from you with minimal effort. I go "back and forth" with you because it's fun for me, and because I enjoy letting retarded douche bags like you know where they really stand in life.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Kevin
Date: Mar 2, 2006 10:14 AM
I'll admit... I'm slowing down. For some reason, even after all of this, I almost feel like telling you that you're not as bad of a person as you are a comedian/actor/TV host ... And you know ... That may even be true ... but dude ... You really do suck at all of the above. You've seen it happen a Million times?... You are probably use to a lot of people torching you on a regular basis, but I didn't think the dumb people would. I thought those &..39;tards were your fans. It doesn't take much to understand your humor. Maybe one day i'll find that girl to slip my seed in... Until then, Kevin Jr. is a long time away. To be honest with you, i vented my Joe Rogan frustrations on the very first simple message that i sent you. Since then, its just been funny to watch you get so worked up. After all is said, I am still a loser and have never accomplished anything in my life... but humbled by it... YOU... have been practicing the art of the loser for quite some time but for some reason think you are God's gift to kathy griffen and Brooke Sheilds... YOU... are also the laughing-stock of Hollywood and amongst your little sub-culture, everybody thinks you are lame. maybe that is why you enjoy lashing out against people so much.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Joe Rogan
Date: Mar 2, 2006 10:28 AM
I enjoy lashing out at people? Are you projecting, fatso? YOU started this whole thing, and now you're backed into a corner. I enjoy responding to assholes, and that's why we're having this conversation. You think I suck at all the things I do? That's fine with me, because as I've said before, the opinions of a fucking loser like you with no success to speak of means nothing. I'm the laughing stock of hollywood amongst my peers? And you know this how? Because in your little shit bag town of Athens, Ohio all my peers come over to your stinky little apartment and tell you how much they laugh at me? You got NOTHING, fat boy. Nothing to say, and nowhere to go. The only reason I'm still going with this at this point is because I think this is going to make an interesting blog entry :) Oh, and by the way, if any of you want to get in touch with Kevin, here's his myspace profile: My friend "Kevin" on myspace.

(If you've read this far, you deserve far more than this:)

He looks like an "after" in a Don't Do The Meth commercial

From here: 'In a tribute to, "Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road," Eddie Van Halen showed up at Elton John's Oscar party dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West : '

He looks so bad, I think he drove the mayor of Winter Park, Florida over the edge. Hell, even Yanni got all-up in his gf's face over it. Damn. What's the world coming to when the master of the PanFlute is busting lips and dropping the c-word.

Eddie, I hope you got enough action the past 40 years to fill your tank, cause I think that ship has sailed for you. Yikes.

And one from the Britney Spears trainwreck - from Eonline:

It's not surprising that a wannabe rapper would show all the social graces of a lamprey. But Kevin Federline may have taken things to the next level, if an item in the Enquirer is to be believed. K-Fed reportedly called Malibu's Moonshadows restaurant in advance of his wife's arrival recently to arrange a surprise for her. When it came time for after-dinner sweets, the waiter refused to wheel over the dessert cart, reportedly saying, "I'm sorry, Ms. Spears, but your husband called here a few minutes ago and told us you weren't allowed to have dessert. In fact, we've been told that no one at the table can have dessert--because you'll eat it."

Poker, Nicholas Cage, and Breast etiquette

Variance gave me a gentle roundkick in the jewels last night. I've got one hell of a cold which causes me to play passive. I decided to play to see how long I can force myself to play aggressively when I'm not in the mood. I found the answer: Long enough to blow a few hundred bucks.

I'm not mad about my play, I just kept running my overpair (QQ and KK) into 66 on non-threatening boards like J63. The funny thing was, both times they ended up hitting quads on the river. All the money was in by this point. 6 handed no-limit, she's got some volatility I tell you.

Now for something completely different that should make Mrs. Cheddah hit me with a frying pan...

I've got a movie industry etiquette question. I don't watch many movies. I'd rather read, or play video games. I'll go to a theatre see a good shoot-em-up or buy any piece of crap that Adam Sandler puts out but that's about it. If Mrs. Cheddah or Little Cheddahs want to go, I'm usually game because popcorn can cure most any bad movie experience.

In addition, I don't know many in the entertainment industry. Madison isn't the hotbed of producers and actors, and even in Chicago which has a decent scene I didn't get to know many in the industry. So to those of you that do know many actors and actresses, here's my question:

When a woman who was your friend in high school is in a sex scene with Nicholas Cage, how do you properly congratulate her? I'm assuming this is a positive for her career and am sincerely happy that she got the exposure. (I gotta admit though, the idea of someone I know even simulating a Nicholas Cage boning gives me the heeby-jeebies.) She was (and is still from the few encounters I've had with her the past few years) a nice, fun-loving person so I'm hoping this is her stepping stone to bigger and better things. I know she's done excellent voice over work in the past and I'm seriously glad to see she's doing well in her chosen life. On the other hand, I don't want her to think I'm a bigger deviant than she already knows I am.

I haven't seen it yet (see above) but there seems to be quite a bit of critical acclaim for her work on the imdb.com message boards from the perv element. She was definitely a hottie in high school and I enjoy boobies, so I guess I'm going to have to sit through the damn Weatherman movie just to see the scene. I vowed I wouldn't watch that flick after they disrupted my walk to work one day in Chicago when filming it, but all vows have a breast exemption clause by default.
So, my question to you gentle reader(s)... What's the proper form to congratulate someone for their partial frontal nudity and simulated sex act? I'm sure it's common-place in LA, so there must be some normal way of doing it. I was thinking something along the line of "You were good in The Weatherman Robyn. I actually believed you were enjoying having sex with Nicholas Cage. It was terrifying, but believable."

BONUS

Since my "readers" will enjoy this level of humor I present to you:

Real Life Simpsons Introduction

Park City Fun

I've been quite bad about posting lately. I know all 5 of you that read this have been sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what's been going on the past month. There certainly have been plenty of things to write about but after my ski trip I've been on the road a few times, gotten sick and just generally felt like a lazy piece of crap. I've played very little poker but did get 10th place finish in a $50 entry 507 person No Limit tourney. I played well with not much to speak of for cards but wasn't afraid to risk it with a slight perceived edge.

Therefore, I'm going to catch up with posts the next few days. In early February Mrs. Cheddah and I went skiing in Park City, UT with two other couples. We had a great time. The only real "Utah" moment was when we got off the plane and there was a welcoming committee waiting for one of the other travelers. The group looked like what you'd expect the families of Children of the Corn to look like, if those kids were allowed to grow up and have families. They were quite pale, and dressed like extras in a Brady Bunch episode. The returning LSD missionaries were very excited to see their parents and siblings, but the whole episode just creeped me out a bit. I go skiing to drink first, and enjoy running down other skiers second. I just afraid there might be a little too much Utah in Park City to allow me to enjoy Goal #1.

Thankfully, I was wrong. The following videos might give you a taste of the debauchery that took place during our Apres Ski on our second night of fun. I shot these on my Treo 650 so the sound and video suck, but you'll get the general idea. You'll need Quick Time Active X download to view the videos. It takes about 15 secs so don't sweat it - if you have the time to waste reading this crap, you can spare the ime for the download.

Exhibit One: When you look around a bar and can't find the entertainment, you are the entertainment. Click here to watch

They had a special on 32 oz beers. They were called Fat Boys. Considering I am a Fat Boy, I thought it was a perfect fit. It also didn't hurt our waitress was into fatboys. It said so on here shirt. That's all the encouragement I need to drink. One of our crew (we'll call him Mark) took to the fatboys like Cheddah to bacon-wrapped shrimp. This video comes after he has put down 5 of them. Yes, that's right, FIVE. You'll see more of him later.

Exhibit Two: Mrs. Cheddah likes her space. Click here to watch

Mrs. Cheddah is an upstanding member of the community (unlike her husband). She has no time for 5x Time Fat Boys and their rabble-rousing. This was the THIRD time that evening they had played Sweet Child of Mine in the rotation. You can't hear it but we thought we were pretty damn good at the time. Also wonderful half-rotation butter-churning by Mrs. Cheddah and Heather.

Exhibit Three: I Think That's Illegal - Especially in Utah. Click here to watch

Yes...what you thought happened at the end did happen. In a bar. In Utah. And yes, I giggle like a stoned Boy George when I'm drunk, so that's me you hear. At this point, the new waitress told one of the many gawkers standing around our table that he should ask us for our table in an effort to get us to leave.

Anyway, the snow was awesome, skiing was fun, and I didn't kill anyone or break anything. I wished someone had killed me when on the skilift the next day after that apres-ski, but a slammed-can of Redbull and a Bacon-cheeseburger later, I was almost new again.

Next time: the ski prop-bet thread, and info on who's backing me for WSOP 2006. Maybe a bankroll update if I get all my hands imported as well.

Anyone for Keno? The Lotto? Old Country Buffet?

I am now officially on a luckbox tear. What's weird is I'm not winning the pots with the premium hands. In my 2 hr session at Stars tonight I had my premium hands lose more to runner-runner flush than you'd expect, and my preflop raises with AA/AK weren't called. I then decide to mix it up with KK and end up forcing myself to make some tough decisions and reads on a 2443A board. I did feel like I had a decent handle on my reads at the table though. When variance rears it's head it will be ugly but for now I'm enjoying the ride.

These next two examples were hands of the night. To set this up, the opponent is a very aggressive player who will bet top pair VERY hard. HE was 1.5-2.0x overbetting the pot with top pair. Not the worst strategy at the $200max 6 hand NL table, but didn't have brakes. I do a google on him while playing and I find some hand histories with him at $30/60 limit games. He had told someone that heckled him (when he lost a pot with 4th pair) that he doesn't care about losing and he had won $1600+ today. I believe him. He'll be a tough NL player when he learns to slow down in the right spots.

Anyway, on the hand between Mr_Limit and myself. He'd run his $200 up to over $300 by playing very aggressive poker to this point.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $2 BB (5 handed) converter

BB ($78)
TheCheddah ($268.70)
MP ($183.10)
Button (Small_Stack)/ ($5.70)
SB (Mr_Limit)/ ($306.75)

Preflop: TheCheddah is UTG with 4s, 4d.
TheCheddah calls $2, MP calls $2, Button (Small_Stack)/ calls $2, SB (Mr_Limit)/ completes, BB checks.

Flop: ($10) Js, 4c, 6s (5 players)
Mr_Limit bets $10, BB folds, TheCheddah calls $10, MP folds, Small_Stack calls $3.70 (All-In).

Turn: ($33.70) Jh (3 players, 1 all-in)
Mr_Limit bets $30, TheCheddah raises to $75, Mr_Limit raises to $180, TheCheddah raises to $256.7 and is all in, Mr_Limit calls $76.70.

River: ($547.10) Td (3 players, 2 all-in)

Final Pot: $547.10

Results
Mr_Limit has Jd Kh (three of a kind, jacks).
TheCheddah has 4s 4d (full house, fours full of jacks).
Small_Stack has 8h 4h (two pair, jacks and fours).
Outcome: TheCheddah wins $547.10.

Sometimes the brakepads are more important than the engine. Anyway, I pulled this gem out of my ass on the last hand, which I played only because I was leaving the table next hand (stupid, yes, but so be it):

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $2 BB (6 handed) converter

BB ($173.35)
TheCheddah ($453.60)
MP (KickedInTheJunk)/ ($78)
CO ($186)
Button ($52.45)
SB ($64.45)

Preflop: TheCheddah is UTG with 5d, Qd.
MP (KickedInTheJunk)/ raises to $6, 4 folds, TheCheddah calls $4,

Flop: ($15) Qs 2c 3d
TheCheddah checks, MP (KickedInTheJunk)/ bets $10, TheCheddah calls $10.

Turn: ($35) 5c (2 players)
TheCheddah bets $17.5, MP (KickedInTheJunk)/ calls $17.50.

River: ($66) Kh (2 players)
TheCheddah bets $35, MP (KickedInTheJunk)/ calls $35.

Final Pot: $136

Results :
TheCheddah showed [5d Qd] and won ($137) with two pair, Queens and Fives
KickedInTheJunk mucks [Qc As]

At least I left him with $10. I'm not a complete bastard.

Today's fun links: This is a COPS I wish I could see.
I know he's 16, but...I hope he was blind.

At least I didn't get mesothelioma - and football picks

This week was a rough one. I never caught back up on sleep from the Florida trip, and then my day job decided it was the week for all hell to break loose. I felt (metaphorically) like a coal miner with black lung disease, or a worker at a auto brake pad manufacturer just waiting to get wacked with asbestos -- but all in very speedy time. I'm sure attorneys have much worse weeks than this.

I know that didn't make sense to anyone.

Ok, now that crap is out of the way. It was a long week though I'm not sure why. Work was rough but that's part of the job description. I'm like a defensive back, except instead of being in incredible shape and paid to hit people I am fat and sit in a crappy chair all day. But both professions require that you forget about the bad plays/blowups and take each situation independently. Still sucks when you're wrong though.

And for those of you that care: my guy likes the away teams this week. I'll have all the fun prop bets ready for the Superbowl. And as I speak I'm playing in the blogger $10 HORSE tournament at Full Tilt. Somehow it's 50 mins in and I'm not out yet; in fact, I'm in 10th of 52 remaining.

My Travel This Weekend (or Fear The Alamo)

Act One: Scene One:

Setting: Alamo Car Rental parking lot. Requirement to work at this lot in Palm Beach: 1) Born below the line. 2) Ability to go to bathroom 50% of the time without peeing on self.

Bus Driver: "Ok, SUV stop. You take whatever one you want. [Launches luggage to the curb]. The keys are in the car, we're really busy right now."

Hero: "Those car seats are mine too. Yes, that's right, I have 4 bags, a stroller, 2 car seats and 2 kids on a 3 day trip. I also decided it would be a good idea to stay up until midnight the night before having to get up at 4am to start this jaunt to Florida. Come to think of it, can I have an application?"

Bus Driver: "Huh?" [Shotputs Dora the Explorer backpack into parking lot]

Hero: "Never mind. That's all my luggage right? Thanks"

[Bus Driver closes door, pulls a tranny drop in parking lot]

[Cue children whine/rabblerousing]

[Hero begins to lug luggage like the donkey/pack animal he is. Doesn't have enough arms to get the biggest piece of luggage.]

Hero: "I'll come back and get the biggest piece of luggage. Man, that piece has sentimental value. We bought it for our first trip together married. I hope nothing happens to it."

[Cue foreshadowing music]

END SCENE ONE

SCENE TWO: On a different Alamo Bus. This one is named The Punisher.

Bus Driver: "Is that a bag or a small child in the road? Fuck it, I'm running it over either way."

[Bus Driver steps on gas]

[Crunching noise followed by blood-curdling scream from the luggage pinned below. It goes away shortly]

Bus Driver: "Heh, heh,heh."

END SCENE TWO

SCENE THREE: Alamo parking lot. Hero is wandering aimlessly, calling out for his luggage.

Hero: "Black bag with Orange-electric tape on handle? Black bag with Orange-electric tape on handle, where are you?"

[Another traveler enters stage left]

[Car Renter] "Dude, you missing a bag?"

[Hero] "Why yes I am"

[Car Renter] "I think it's in front, left under a bench to die. It don't look pretty."

[Dark music blares]

[Hero] "Noooooooooo!"

END SCENE THREE

SCENE FOUR (last one): In front of Alamo office. Manager and Hero present.

Hero: "What the hell happened to my bag? I left it for 30 seconds?"

Manager: "Ahhh, you left it in the road."

Hero: "It's a fricking parking lot. The whole 4 acres is 'a road'"

Manager: "Umm, you left it in the road."

Hero: "Technically, yes. Question for you: if my son sets foot in the parking lot, does that mean he's fair game too?"

Manager: "Sorry, got to go freebase."

Hero: "Thanks."

FINI
--------------------------------------------------------
These are the pictures from the above Lifetime movie, taken on the Treo 600 crap-camera (as Dave Berry calls it). They can't do justice but they'll have to do. The zipper was intact but the entire piece was split sideways. The whole thing was covered in a mixture of oil and melted cheap rubber/plastic. Amazingly enough nothing inside was hurt, though everything was pretty dirty. We had some personal electronics items inside (Garmin running GPS thing, MP3 player) that came through without a scratch.

Donkeying Up In HORSE

My tourney life has been running cold lately so I decided to mix it up a little bit. I'm likely heading out to play in some cash games during the LA Poke Classic, and decided I'd enter one of the $1500 events if I could get my tournament game on track. When I get in a rut I like to change it up a bit, and there's nothing like HORSE to force a change.

I'm a decent limit hold em player, but my skills go downhill quickly from there. I tend not to have the patience to wait for the right hands in Razz or O8, and slowly bleed away chips. Therefore, I'm forced to think more about each of the games because I've haven't played enough Razz or O8 H/L to be able to "put it on autopilot" like I could with a HE game. Since I struggle to keep focus in tournaments, the change does me good.

I'm not sure if today was good for me or not. Man, in limit tourneys I always feel like I'm drawing to some donkey hand because I let myself get down to the felt and the blinds tend to move up quickly. I was 53 of 55 at one point in today's $20+2 HORSE tournament at Full Tilt. It's a different feeling from NL, where you at least have the ability to force some pressure points before getting down in the Red Zone. So on one hand, I feel like I waited too long to take a stand and was forced to luck out with some low-percentage draws.

On the other hand....



To anyone I caused to reload on their blood pressure medication, I apologize. It won't happen again.

What would you do (and the passivity pendulum)

Played (if you can call it that) in a FTP $26/2 MTT last night. I watched a player get involved in 12 hands vol in 2 trips around the table. I then get TT 2 off the button, raise it up 3.5x the blinds, and get called only by Mr. Playsalot.

Flop comes K-rag-rag rainbow...long story short, I am betting the whole way. From having watched his play I'm thinking he'd reraise me if he hit his K, so I'm most likely up against some Ax hand.

He calls me the whole way down with his KK. No reraise, not even on the river. Was a little confused by that one but it allowed me to flop around for another 30 mins or so. Not my best performance by any means. Lately I've been playing less "controlled passive" and falling back into the "crappy passive" mode. It's been my experience that you've got more people overplaying hands at FTP in this lower dollar MTT's, so letting them lead when you've got a solid hand works well. Unfortunately, I can take that too far if I'm not careful. I'm going to try to turn that around tonight.

Before I go, here's a hand history from a friend that has cleaned house at BoDog in 2005. This one came after he had built up a nice tight table image. I'm going to do more of these in a segment I call WWCD (What Would Cheddah Do)

$100NL...3 off button, first in raises to $2.25 with 35c. Only the blinds call. The flop - a dream 2c35 rainbow. The blinds check, he bets half the pot. All of sudden, small blind raises to $10 (leaving $7.55 in his stacks). The big blind calls (he's got $36 left).

What do you do here? I'll post the outcome either in the comments or in a future post.

I know I'm crazy. Not selling-crayons-on-the-train crazy, but sometimes I get a little too excited about things. Today was one of those days.

I had a package coming by UPS. When I checked the tracking site, it said it had been put on the truck at 6:23am. I didn't want to miss it (for a variety of reasons) so I even skipped out of work for two hours while my wife worked out so some one would be here to sign for it.

1pm came...2pm came..3pm came and my wife told me I couldn't call home anymore. She'd call me when it finally showed up. Jeesh, you call someone every 30 mins for a few hours, and you find out their true colors. Finally, at 6:25pm it showed up.



It's the Cheddah's gift to himself, and a way to make sure I don't piss away all the poker winnings of the past year. I can now 4 table in style (when I'm on a meth binge). It should make 2-tabling much more enjoyable all the time.